Don’t lose your mind
Don’t lose your good heart
Just know this time
That you’ll be waking up
In all these better days.
⏤“This is How You Walk On”
Gary Lightbody & Johnny Mcdaid.
Journeying together through the underworld, I gave over my complete trust to a few dead men, the process, and our InterDimensional dance so as to learn what I was there to learn from them being inhabited and living with them in between Life and the Afterlife.
I use the term in between because I live in two worlds and walk in three timelines: the past, present and future. Telepathically I hear, empathically I feel and clairvoyantly I see the living and the dead as well as future timelines.
During this time, I also learned that Life in the AfterLife is not considered “life in between lives,” rather part two to one life on earth. Living one full life comprises of living both sides of the veil.
Because I live on both sides, I am often in a double conversation with those on both sides of the veil, whether I am alone, with people or working. I am often receiving future information telepathically and most of the time, I live in a future timeline and it’s very chaotic and difficult to manage. In some ways, I feel I have become a machine with no ability to control IT and shut IT down. Some days feel easier, while others are quite bipolar and schizophrenic and I am clinically neither one.
I do however want to state that I love my gift and mediumship ability to give psychic readings working between the veil as a paranormal expert and trauma psychotherapist. For me, there is no greater high. I also enjoy being privy to the secrets that make up the afterlife as well as having access to people’s dirty laundry so as to help both sides resolve conflict, heal and experience greater magic and peace in their lives. Biting the bullet, although not worth killing my life, it is worth being that special Seer, ahead of time with the ability to teach about the mysteries very few people have firsthand knowledge about.
Question: Why All the devoted deception, lies and amnesia when we incarnate?
The reason we are designed not to remember much when we incarnate is because our pain and rage are too deep. You would be out of control and your mind if you knew all truth. Most of you would not be able to walk your 3d life path knowing the knowledge you know, hence like a racing horse, we too have blinders so as not to get distracted.
If most of you knew what your life entailed while you are already in it, most of you would never complete it. Knowing what your life will be like from the other side before your incarnation is a different experience then living the role firsthand. Many people’s lives look cool like those you read in books and watch on TV programs and in movies. But living these “cool” lives like mine is an entirely different experience and existence then watching or reading about them.
In the afterlife, it’s different than here. Telepathy is full on so they know all truth, everyone has access to everyone’s mind, which is why many AfterLifers are out of control in terms of ego, rage, and needs. This is also why we are out of control, for the same reasons, because we feel them and they feel us. We live in and breathe through each other. This is why Lifers and AfterLifers were designed together, so we can use and depend on one another to do our dirty parallel and intertwined life work together. This is the nature and foundation for why we have spirit guides and this is how we incarnate and reincarnate, over and over again, with an army and mission to help each other out and fuck each other up.
I fucking hate you for what you did to me. You feel my heart? That’s you.
As each person dies, we shape-shift to another dimension we call the afterlife and rejoin teams that serve our purpose. And no, for the very traumatized and hurt ones with lots of anger to resolve, dark ones who really need it, we don’t get any formalized healing on the other side to deal with the aftermath of our tragic lives and deaths. You would think we would given the number of brilliant doctors on the other side of the rainbow. Instead, through my experience, many live with and use their resentments to serve their needs through us. Look at the state of the human condition, look at our history. If all got resolved on the other side it would be reflected in humanity on this side. Reincarnation is part of this rebellious and reflective process.
These soul contracts between us all are both designed prior to incarnations and further contracts are made while we sleep. While we are sleeping, AfterLifers plant seeds of consciousness in our brain through our dreams to make sure we are on path, and it may not necessarily be a good path. Whether we remember our dreams or not, these seeds of information are planted. But this planting goes two-ways. Just as we are yanked by their chains, they too are yanked by ours.
Bury me softly in this womb
I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you.
⏤“Down in a Hole” Alice in Chains (1992)
Many of you are very unaware of your Extra Sensory Perception and InterDimensional wiring and chalk it up to intuition with no proof of your interplay with AfterLifers, Telepathy or that the future has already been written. You see the signs but have no way of understanding this formula in context to another social world at play in ours.
When one is not taught how to access and identify this information, as I have learned to do, one has no tangible evidence or way to understand one’s visions, intuitions, the voices and so forth. The Voices are simply chalked up to imagination, conspiracy theories, hallucinations, lunacy, psychosis and so forth.
But when one reads Lifers and AfterLifers, sees details of the future, and teaches how to do this and become aware that you are already doing much of this, then one has proof. This is my profession and legacy.
All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out.
I wish that I could say I’m proud
I’m sorry that I let you down
Yeah, I guess I’m a disappointment.
⏤“Let You Down” NF (2017)
Why am I telling you My story?
I am telling you my story because A) AfterLifers have become my family, B) they have been behind me and my life work since each of their deaths and we’ve done some very amazing things together to help this world, C) where they took me no one else could follow, and D), All death holds teaching value for me. None of us are in this game of life alone. I demonstrate this fact as I undress myself and expose my reality living the Matrix with complex AfterLifers like me.
You’re not yet an afterlifer, you’re an in betweener.
Broken, battered, shattered, abused, used, disenfranchised, disgust beyond limit, cradle robbing and hell are some the worst words I would use to describe my InterDimensional Journey and they would use to describe parts of their Life journeys. But before it got dark for me, words like love inspiring, insatiable, arousing, eye opening, magical, all consuming, beyond passionate, compassionate, supportive and jaw dropping are some of the best words I would use.
These were the best days of my Life because I lived life with those who really knew, cared about me, paid attention to all of me, and loved me for the real me. Although I am aware that no aspect of me and my life is private from them, and I feel as though I am a performance on cue, there is no performance needed with them. This is why I gravitated to AfterLifers more so than Lifers.
They were also some of my worst moments because first, missing them and having to die to fully be in their physicality was excruciating and still is. Second, when I got upset with them, I am never not under their surveillance and control and they can be extremely cruel. There is no great arguments with the dead, I mean, I have had them all.
Doug says Why don’t you tell them what I said to you?
Leanne says Why don’t you?
I said, “No matter what you say to me, you will never get rid of me.”
And let me tell you, I’ve said terrible things just to get him off my back.
It’s one thing to talk to dead people, it’s another to marry them. I do not recommend getting married to an AfterLifer unless you had a relationship together before this person died. The power dynamics can become very problematic as they know everything about you and you know very little about them, only what they want you to know. Since they see the future, all is calculated, and most often, you become the victim of their play. Forget about fidelity because you will have no way of knowing what they are up to.
So ladies, if you find yourself haunted by any of the guys you heard me mention on my blog and are involved with me, promising you things, beware they use every female to give me a message and telepathically link me to you so I hear you and see a lot. Doug and Layne are obsessed with me hence why I’m sharing my story, and they will never come through on anything they promise you, except to sexually abuse you, if you find yourself approached by them. They try to block every man that likes me and will use any of you to get my attention, if you’re playing in that circle.
Unless you are into being number 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6, you are forwarned.
At first I was naive, but then I learned. Don’t trust any dead man famous or not if they want to get romantic with you. They are all cheating and watching us all as porn and during the sexual mastrbation act, they link you with them and their others so you may want to be forewarned that unless you are into full on bisexual orgies, stay away from any ghost who asks you for anything serious, that’s how their recruitment begins and most likely you will end up having to see a psychiatrist and suffer a mental breakdown. And if any ghost tells you he’s 200 years old, most likely he’s from this lifetime hiding in costume. Ghosts love to give you a story and ride and it’s all through lies and manipulation. And you will always have an audience of their friends watching, you will never be alone with them.
When I learned this all, my life with them became all-at-once a mirror image of being abducted, living in North Korea, a native taken captive by a rivalling tribe, and a human turned vampire. All that said, l was willing to give it all up to experience this kind of life and knowledge attained only through living life in between the living and the dead.
Many mediums and authors, and for good reason, shy away from paranormal darkness in the afterlife for reasons related to spirit attachments and negativity. For some, it’s ugly to see so much pain coursing the self and others, and for some, many are simply too afraid and creeped out to actually enter the dark, live with them and learn about them firsthand. Unless they are forced to.
I was both intrigued and forced.
Although I am no fool for romantic love on this side of the veil, I was a fool for love, romance, redemption and anyone who had the balls and vagina to stand alone for a cause that mattered to me. I thought I found these fools, my partners, in the AfterLife, until I realized they didn’t want to help anyone but themselves and each other at the expense of many, including their loved ones left behind.
Why should mediums want to get involved with such darkness? The consciousness of darkness is not pleasant and we as Soothsayers are extremely sensitive beings so really, getting involved with darkness is a call to sickness.
No one in their right mind should be doing what I was destined to do unless you cannot escape this destiny.
I could not.
Mediums are correct to stay away and be afraid from such darkness and pain. I have experienced a lot of bad things to my head, heart and body in this line of life work. Ghosts are people and people will be people. Whether on this side or the other, the duality consciousness prevails, which means rarely do personalities change.
Devoted deception is the name of this game we call Life on Earth and Life in the AfterLife. Lies are what spin this world round and round.
In my line of work with afterlife clients, I have witnessed their calming realizations and admissions of guilt and remorse but this still doesn’t mean they can change who they are. Look how hard it is to change yourself?
Their constant chatter, need for attention, jealousies, despicable language, judgments of themselves, each other and me, their sexual needs, abuses and affect, extreme immaturity, you name it, I hear it all and it’s all so hard to live with. You cannot imagine. Just like it is with living people here, dead people are no different.
Multiple Personality Disorder (known as Dissociative Identity Disorder) is based on having real dead people living within you playing roles. Although some of the characters are there to comfort the individual, the entire process of consciously living with a commune inside of one individual can be extremely harmful. This is what Paranormal Schizophrenics experience.
I address the Paranormal Voices and explain how trauma on both sides of the veil factor in to psychosis. I coined the term Paranormal Schizophrenia so that we can begin a new discourse about what may going on when a person hears voices and is diagnosed with Psychosis, Bipolar disorder and/or Paranoid Schizophrenia or DID (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder), Do you Suffer from Telepathic and Empathic Noise? PARANORMAL SCHIZOPHRENIA: Parasitic Consciousness, Telepathy, Trauma & PTSD.
Because I was born with strong precognitive and empathic abilities and have witnessed most of my premonitions come true, coupled with doing this as a career with immediate feedback confirming the information I share, I know I am operating as a clear channel and messenger. But even with all this confirmation, it’s hard to live with.
I have often asked my dead partners, “Why must I hear such negativity? Can you not block out the noise and replace it with kindness and compassionate chatter?”
Initially this was how Death got my attention, claiming to be the one to block out the negative noise. But then it turned out that he was the very one creating it, infecting me with his disease, what he suffered with in life.
I have never been diagnosed with a “mental illness” in fact, I was diagnosed as having no psychosis or mental illness and because of my extensive professional background and practice working with mental illness from the milder to the most severe of cases, I keep myself in check for my personal wellbeing as well as for the work and research. But just because I am not these clinical labels does not mean I don’t experience these dis-eases. As a physical, mental and visual medium and vessel for the departed and living, I experience it all.
Am I all the things I am seeing and feeling?
If I manage to record my memories, will they still belong to me?
BETWEEN THE VEIL Temporarily Released CHAPTERS